


Form and Function

by cunningdeb



Category: Adam Lambert - Fandom, Kris Allen - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cunningdeb/pseuds/cunningdeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys are remodeling their bathroom and need the perfect tub. Heaven help their interior designer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Form and Function

“Will you two please hurry up! You’re not my only appointment today!”

Gawd, this is precisely why I don’t like taking clients to Designer Showrooms, Buffy lamented to herself. It’s literally like taking kids to a candy store – so much to stimulate the senses. Granted, in her business, sometimes you do have to take clients with you, to show them their options but she usually reserved that honor for people with level heads. These boys had seemed genuinely nice as well as sane when she took them on but now she was convinced Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were certifiable. 

They had bought their first house together and were remodeling it from attic loft to basement recording studio. Buffy talked with them, helped them pin down their style (quite a feat considering their personal styles were polar opposites) and so far everything she’d presented to them, they loved.

Then they got to the bathroom. At the mention of what kind of tub they wanted, they bombarded her with an arm’s length list of what they needed and desired. In the end, it was just easier to bring them along, let they see for themselves, and hopefully they’d have an order placed within the hour.

Buffy turned around. They were gone.

“Damn it to hell and back. Adam! Kris!”

A red faced sales associate approached her and told her the two men were just around the corner ‘trying out’ a crib design tub.

Rounding the corner, she spotted the two men sitting in the tub, facing each other. The tub was deep with a black exterior finish and a white interior finish. There were also matching headrests at either end. Quite a stunning Modern design.

Knees were moving up and down, garnering squeaks and gasps from each other. Noticing their footwear on the floor, Buffy could just imagine what they were doing. Instead of verifying this, she opted to look at the specs card instead.

“This looks promising. What do you guys think?”

Adam’s eyes were closed and he was chewing his bottom lip. She looked over at Kris. His leg was moving back and forth and he looked very pleased with himself. She cleared her throat.

Kris snapped out of it first. His knee went down and Adam groaned in disappointment. He finally opened his eyes and had the courtesy to appear someone embarrassed at getting caught.

“P-Pardon?” Adam asked, his eyes drifting between hers and his boyfriend’s.

“I asked if you guys like this one. The color is something you expressed interest in, the dimensions are good for the physical space we have to work with …”

“…and it’s long enough for us,” Kris added. He sat up and straddled the larger man’s waist. “This works for me but I think Adam might find it a bit snug; his thighs are bigger than mine…”

“Okay, scratch that. Let’s check out something else.” She really should have rented the place out for a private showing – they could afford it and it would have eliminated this embarrassment.

Could she charge them a humiliation tax?

Taking them each by the hand, she dragged them deeper into the showroom. It was like wrangling her kids in the grocery store. One of them would stop abruptly, point at something and she told him “no”, moving on.

The next display they stopped at featured massage and Jacuzzi tubs. These were often built for two and afforded plenty of room. Two styles caught their attention. The first was a Jacuzzi tub that allowed them to lie side by side with plenty of room to move around and do whatever.

“Among the features on this one are pillows, shelves, air jets or water jets, shower wand, speakers and your choice of seven different spa light colors.”

Adam and Kris climbed inside, stretching out. Buffy asked for their initial thoughts and they liked it. Before they do a more thorough inspection, she drew their attention off each other and to a corner model massage tub.

“This one features 5 big massage jets, 3 small massage jets, headrests, a shelf, handle shower, handgrip, speakers with a radio tune set function, and a computerized control system. Bubble generator, underwater color changing lights and a thermostatic system are optional.”

The two men put their heads together, discussing the options. Buffy rolled her eyes, imagining they were discussing which one had enough room for Adam’s thighs.

Adam pointed to the Jacuzzi tub. “We’ll go with that one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, we’re sure.”

“Kris, are you sure?”

“I’m with Adam; that’s the one.”

For the first time since they got there, Buffy smiled. “Good. I’ll talk to the sales associate and place an order in our chosen color. I’ll be right back.”

Buffy quickly found the person she wanted, anxious to get out of there. The order was placed, all the pertinent information entered, and then she went back for the men so they could give their credit card information.

They were gone.

Of course they were gone. Why would they have stayed put?

Laughing met her ears. Oh great, what are they up to now.

She rounded a few corners into the space where Ultra Modern designs were displayed. After checking out several vignettes, she found them. Her chin hit the floor and her face burned as she watched Adam and Kris trying out every position illustrated in The Joy of Sex, the Karma Sutra and a few new ones she was convinced they’d invented.

At least they kept their clothes on.

Jaw back in place, she returned to the associate. “Cancel that Jacuzzi order. They’ve changed their minds. We’re taking the huge glass tub on display over there.”

“I need the product number.”

“I don’t have it.”

“Well, I’ll go get it and be right back.”

Buffy caught her arm. “Trust me, you don’t want to do that. Just look it up on the computer or in a catalog or something.”

Buffy was given a disapproving look but she didn’t care. In record time the order was placed, paid for and the two sex addicts were driving away. She looked for the closest bar and plunked down on an empty stool.

“What can I get you?” the bartender asked politely.

“Scotch and soda – and hold the scotch.”

As she accepted her refill, her phone rang.

“Hey Buffy. It’s Kris. Adam and I wanted to apologize for this afternoon. We got a tad carried away but we’re really happy with what we got. We just wanted to say thanks.”

She smiled slightly. “You are my clients after all. You need to be happy or I haven’t done my job.”

“We’re glad to hear that,” Kris exclaimed, “because we’d like to go with you next week to look at beds … Buffy? … Are you there? … Adam, I think we got disconnected. Buffy? … Buffy?! …”


End file.
